Our Deepest Fear

Imagine a world where fear didn't limit you? 

Because

Fear does limit us, often in small seemingly negligible ways.

Only, it shows up big later on down the road, when we try

stretching for faith and are left hopelessly flailing in its wake. 

It stops us in our tracks, leaves a cold sweat slick to our sides.

Its insidious grip - so stifling, crushing and oppressive. Hot!

Our deepest fear ringing loud in our ears, us stranding alone.
Not enough, too loud, too quiet, too plain, really - too much!

Sucking oxygen from the soul, surreptitiously invading and 

fanning the flames of dread, snuffing the light within. Dead!

But

What if we truly did believe, that we were powerful. Seriously!
Alive for purpose and significance, lovely beyond description.
Possessors of boundless aptitude, capacity or ability, no really!

A city on a hill that cannot be hidden, a beacon in the darkness.
We could upend fear, hold faith near.

That we - humankind, might be living breathing vessels, carriers of a divine plan.

Powerful, not because of our frail humanity or its limited and shortsighted altruism. 

But because of an omnipotent and infinitely greater power bequeathing upon us a 

magnanimous legacy of extraordinary proportions. So great in its magnificence, 

so exceedingly exceptional that it seems incomprehensible, it truly defies belief!

How would that change you? 

Linking up with and Emily's Love Dare

Time out and a trip to the Zoo

Love time with this girl. She makes me smile. Each year in March we go away for the weekend to Sydney. Just the two of us for some Mother - Daughter time. We started going in her third year of high school. She was fourteen. That was a hard age! I nearly gave up that year, but I decided to give it another crack ... and here we are four years on. It makes my heart glad that she still likes to bounce ideas around with me and seeks a little wise counsel every now and then (Seventeen years slipped by much too fast). So very glad that I invested time out with her in the teenage years. We may have sowed in tears but the harvest looks pretty good right about now!

Taronga Zoo (Never too old for this stuff!) in Sydney was a highlight of our trip. Mesmerised by the antics of the elephants (especially the babies), I clicked away as they attempted to push and dunk each other under the water - aahh, photographers paradise! They were having the time of their life and so was I. 

Watching these enormous animals play with such abandon was riveting, so cheeky. Can't believe I captured all this on my smart phone! (Can't believe I forgot my camera but not bad for a Samsung Galaxy S3, pretty impressed with its ability! ... what do you think?) 

There is something very majestic about these creatures 

and pretty awesome being up this close and personal!

Such an amazing time (and a very happy Mamma's heart).

Linking up with Casey Leigh for 'On your heart'.

Family Heritage

Recently I have been looking into our family heritage. It is interesting what one can find on google. I grew up knowing very little about my extended family and never knew any of my grandparents. Details are sketchy at best. The other day I found my Great Grandmothers death certificate online. (Random I know. Completely unexpected but there it was in the swedish paper.) Being in swedish I had to use an online translation tool to work it all out. (Eventually I got there.)

My father sent me this family photo during the week. 

(Face book is good for that and connecting over the miles.)

It must be the only one we have.

A good catholic family ... so many children!

My Paternal Grandmother is the one seated on the left. 

(I can't find any family resemblance!)

My fascination with investigating the past has led me down many rabbit warrens, the journey however has been completely entertaining and thoroughly enlightening. (Particularly when you are stuck in bed with the flu!! Thank goodness for a laptop!) 

Understanding how the past reaches into our future despite generational divides is complex and compelling. I find it utterly fascinating. To understand how the past has had a hand in shaping me and moulding me often leaves me contemplative and reflective, especially when I try to analyse and dissect the things I believe, the choices I have made and the person I have ultimately become. (Yes, I am choleric by nature!) It is both scary and enthralling all at the same time. Don't get me wrong, I am a big believer in moving on and letting go, of not dwelling in the past. But, there is something about knowing the history you have come from ... the battles that were fought by a generation that went before you, the victories that have been won on your behalf. 

Just knowing that these people made a perilous journey on a crowded ship across a vast ocean to begin a new life in a foreign country is inspiring ... They came with very little, yet, they courageously forged this life. Adapting to a different culture, novel customs and a strange language system so far removed from what they had previously known. They made sacrifices that allow me the amazing freedoms I have today. I am truly grateful. 

As I work at piecing the little genealogy I have together, a picture is slowly emerging. I am encouraged to know that fearless people went before me. Determined, resolute individuals who set out for the new world (New Zealand - the promised land.) I wonder about the notion of where I would be without the choices that were made by my ancestors. Who would I be? 

It is hard to comprehend anything but what I now know. I try to picture myself on a small swedish Island in the baltic sea and cant quite envisage it. I roll around the name in my mind - Gotland, trying to make it fit. But I can't imagine myself there! Its a piece of the puzzle that just wont fit. 

When I think about the losses I have suffered in my lifetime, the things that have changed my history and impacted that of my children ... the things that could keep me down or hemmed in. I can't help but be inspired by the determination so firmly etched in the features of my ancestors. Spirits completely resolute. I look at these people so solemnly spread out in this family photo and am eager to know their stories more intimately. Some day, in the halls of heaven, I hope to hear in detail how they made the future I now live, so very possible!

The past is indeed a great teacher, history a great story.

'Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it' - George Santayana

Finding purpose

I love the thought that 'Love is the essential reality', that somewhere in the core of our humanity resides a vital and necessary truth. If we were to be truly conscious of it, truly aware of its power, we would use it, wield it, fling it far and wide.

 If we would allow it free reign, give love unfettered reach, grant it unmitigated freedom, then we would sanction the collision of compassion and conviction in a profound and passionate allegiance. It would fortify us, strengthen us and transform us. We could step outside and beyond the grasp of malevolent fear in radical and uncompromising ways. It would revolutionise us! 

We could unhinge hate

we'd give, not take

embrace, not shun

seek, not run

accept, not judge

protect, not destroy

we would hold on and not let go.

We would realise our capacity, tap into our potential and find our purpose. 

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 
 It never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 
Love triumphs every time!