The Filling

God calls us out of mediocrity to live more purposed, more devoted, more destined. He whispers to us to rise above the hum drum of ordinary living to go deeper with him.

Deeper into love

       Deeper into to mercy

              Deeper into forgiveness

                      Deeper into selflessness

As we step off that ledge of the known, as we let go, as we trust and relinquish, we push past the weight of this world and all her hardened, vain glorious opinions. And in that place of letting go and unwinding, in that place of holy surrender, in going deeper, the grip of this world falls away, her clutch lessens, her ties unfurl, no longer are we slave, but free.

Deeper into love

       Deeper into to mercy

              Deeper into forgiveness

                      Deeper into selflessness

But going deeper costs, living unbound has a price. It is a journey into the wilderness. This crossing into the wide open expanse of letting go, of less self, will test every inch of you. The letting go of everything you know, the letting go of rising dreams, the letting go of everything that made sense, the letting go of purpose, is scary - because trusting God in the letting go, in the laying down to traipse the depth of a valley, feels emptying. It feels less, not more.

Deeper into love

       Deeper into to mercy

              Deeper into forgiveness

                      Deeper into selflessness

Walking through the rough terrain of the valley is lonely for when the testing comes, the trial can come hot - fiery, piercing and gut wrenching. The fire in this crepuscular landscape will try to consume you. But it is in this place of heartache and despair, that being empty is needful. In the emptying, in the purging of the fire, when a life is spent and everything the world offers has finally fluttered away, one human - blood bought life still remains, but for the grace of God. For without HIM, I have nothing, I am nothing.

Deeper into love

       Deeper into to mercy

              Deeper into forgiveness

                      Deeper into selflessness

It is in this act of laying self down, of setting dreams adrift, of releasing deeply encumbered burdens to heave them at the foot of the cross, that the passage to purpose is paid in full. A soothing wind seeps in, a holy exchange takes place and the filling comes. A filling of grace beyond this world finds its way through the loss, on through the heartache and past the pain. A filling that is only possible, because the fiery emptying prepared the way.

For my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness, Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest in me. 2 Corinthians 12:9.

Sony A7 Mark 2 - Nepal unedited!

Stunning Mount Everest

Mount Everest - The tallest peak

They didn't know!

They tried to bury us, they didn't know we were seeds!

When the cares of this world weigh heavy,
when the soul seems burdened beyond belief,
when your heart has been heaped with pain,
just rest. Rest in the soil of purpose, the seeds of destiny are biding their time. You WILL flourish again.

The smallest act of kindness

There are people who take the heart out of you and then there are those who put it right back! 

The smallest act of kindness makes all the difference. Today I am so very grateful for offerings of sweet friendship. Friendship is a beautiful gift. Kindness is in the little things ... it is in the small details of a life lived open and outward focused.

May we all pause to value the gift of friendship and the wisps of kindness that extend from these kind souls, for without these sweet bonds, life would be intolerable!

Happiness

Happiness is found not in the pursuit of selfish ambition, but rather, in the pursuit of a life totally poured out, heart and soul!

This is my firm conviction.

Choose, Look, Love

We are confined only by the walls we build around ourselves!

I have discovered that what we see, is firmly entrenched in our outlook. What is your focus?

We can see the glass half full or half empty, and then, there are those of us who see nothing at all and complain about what is in the glass.

Shift your focus!

Choose to see beauty in everything.

Look for the good everywhere.

Love on everyone!

In everything, everywhere, for everyone!

Pearls of wisdom

My twenty year old daughter moved out of home recently. She has been talking about it for a year now. My head was ready for this but my heart faltered. I knew the day was coming, expected it to be difficult, was ready for whatever feelings would swamp me, yet one can never fully prepare for how one will actually feel in the moment. It's difficult to explain the angst of letting go. TUG-OF-WAR!

Why are there no parenting books for parenting your young adult? There really should be some kind of book that helps this transition to adult-independence because it really does feel like you're finding your way in the dark. Your young adult wants you to stop worrying about them but they still do things that keep worrying you. They still keep you up at night! They should know by now that questionable decisions are ALWAYS cause for concern. Please stop making them and I will have no need to worry!

Every young adult needs to find their own way, and make their own mistakes. It's just really hard to sit on the sidelines and spectate when parenting has been up until now a contact sport. Sitting on the sidelines is really really hard after you have been in the game for twenty years and when shouting the game plan from the sidelines results in raised eyebrows (carefully manicured ones at that), even the most robust of us tend to wither inside. The raised eyebrow is now focused on you! You quickly learn that your pearls of wisdom are better given as rare gifts. Better to give your gifts of wisdom sparingly as remarkable treasure, than to give too many and see them discarded and left unopened. Better to wait to be asked your opinion than to hand out advice not valued or appreciated. Holding my tongue has become a new sport!

I have learnt (by trial and error) that it is expedient for your young adult to learn some things the hard way. These lessons are often the most valuable and never forgotten. Experience is a great teacher and she does a good job. Hence the tongue holding when everything within me wants to direct, persuade or push them in the right direction. How do you explain that the certain amount of worldly expertise you have actually accounts for something. Yes, I do know a thing or two about life having lived it for awhile now!

The question is, 

'Which mistakes decisions do you let them make and which ones do you challenge?'

Some things are definitely better learnt by experience, like closing your bank account instead of just canceling your bank card when some online hack attempts to take money from your account. Although, had I been asked about this, I would have given my pearls and advised against it. Unfortunately pearls were not sought. Whoops, cancelling the whole bank account can be very tricky! We didn't think about the fact that the fortnightly pay might not find its way into the shut account or that transactions being direct debited might attract unwelcome attention. Lesson learnt! Yes, there is value in lessons learnt the hard way and what do you know, suddenly my advice was sought!

So last night (on an entirely different matter) I sent my twenty year old this quote, 'Decisions determine destiny'. 

It was one of those moments when I just needed to press in and not hold back. It was a moment where everything that needed to be said could be summed up in just three words - three simple pearls. I think this will be my new mantra!

The little things

Olympus FE-340

Enjoy the little things in life for one day you will look back and realise they were the big things!

One breath, one step, one day at a time!

When the stretch is bigger than your known capacity,

when the borders of safe predictability are breached,

when your propelled wildly into new frontiers,

when the life you have always lived packs its bags 

and takes you in new directions -

one breath, one step, one day at a time.

If life demands more from you and you find yourself flailing,

if you find yourself standing alone in a world that is falling apart,

hold on!

Embrace the stretch,

push past unpredictable borders,

propel yourself into new frontiers,

pick up your bags and take that new direction.

Outlast the pain, the stretch and the unknown terrain.

Two hearts beat within my breast

I heard these words today and they struck a cord!

'Two hearts beat within my breast.

One is foul, the other is blessed.

One I love, the other I hate.

The one I feed will dominate.'

Sometimes we find ourselves warring between what we know is right and doing something else entirely. I question myself, often. When I have a million things on my mind and I rush about the day, is love brought to every sphere of my life? When people are unhappy or pressure mounts, do I breathe out blessing or cursing?

Living a life poured out in love isn't easy. 

We live in a world where hate squanders what we value. Hate wages war. Rage storms in and love is lost. 

The world as we know it has changed. Blessing is weird and cursing is expected. The tentacles of compromise have coiled slowly around our every day living. The fabric of our millennial society has evolved to the extent that the values adhered to by one generation have emerged in the next as a vortex of societal discord. Peace has been obliterated and intolerance rules. The lines of political correctness have crisscrossed so overwhelmingly that a seismic value shift has changed our societal direction. Undermined ever so subtly, we have been hushed into silence. This generation (the b.b's and the x,y,z's) unlike any before us will experience the greatest societal shift in their life time than at any other time in history. Look how far our society has changed in just ten years!

So how you love matters!

At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words. I can't hear you when your behaviour screams louder than what you have to say. 

Feed love and you'll feed life.

Let love have her way!

What lies before us

What lies within us resides insurmountable potential because we have been destined and pre ordained for more. We have been purposed beyond all earthly comprehension for a time to come, a time of infinitely designed significance, and it is this knowing that echoes across our existence. The past is but a line drawn in the sand, a line that states what once was. It is a line between what was and what will be, that is all. The past is a string of lights flickering behind us, acknowledging a path travelled. But the future, the future is a beacon of hope. It is a song that reverberates outside of time and space. Across the years, this song of purpose directs us forward - because wisdom and truth is a song we have learnt to sing in the toughest of battles. Its anthem has been raised in the stormiest of seas, amidst the turmoil of life, and in the hard places of life. We have learnt to press on, that is the magnificence of the human spirit. We, such unique humanity, grow resilient despite loss, grow stronger through brokenness. What lies within us is is truly unfathomable, it is entirely limitless. Empowered by what might lie before us, we are stirred to climb higher and rise yet again. 

There is more for us than the bare bones of just living, more than this temporal world, so much more than we could hope or imagine. Hope calls our potential to arise. Like a lighthouse, hope and possibility shine before us. They direct us to safe places. This sweeping arc of light guides us through the darkness, it leads us home. Hope and possibility, the sweet mingling of tomorrow, is there for us to hold on to. If we are brave enough to see it we can grasp it wholeheartedly. What lies before us is unbelievable possibility. That possibility is the sum of all of who we are now and into the future, it is both our weakness and our greatness and when we weigh the weight of our weakness against all of our possibility, we are strengthened every time.

Imperfect Living

I am loving this thought at the moment, 'There's no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let others get inspired by how you deal with imperfections.'

There is something powerful about a life out worked on the battle lines of brokenness. To observe a courage that has been ferociously forged in the face of inadequacy is indeed inspiring. Watching a burgeoning life fight a relentless battle, then valiantly push back encroaching enemy lines in their day to day living is compelling. Now that is a life I can learn from.

This life of imperfections continually sets us apart from the absolute ideal, some worldly standard that exists outside of reality. Thus we are often found lacking and wanting. Our flaws open grounds of doubt, lack nudges ever so pressingly. Humanity is bonded in its limits and boundaries, we are all in this together. Vulnerability marks us all, it burns deep. We see the flaws in others and those within ourselves. Some of us open our arms to it and there are those who will close their eyes. Faults are carried like burdens, some will ease that heaviness and others will turn away. 

Our failings give us option to try another way, our flaws the scope to see things differently. We are afforded the chance to forgive and be forgiven. To say sorry and hear it in return, to extend grace and receive it right back. All of this should shine a light upon lack that should not limit us, but draw us together in unity. This rough edge that we share should help us to hold hands in solidarity.

'Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail'. - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Imperfections give rise to bravery and occasion to expand and flourish. There are the brave amongst us who rise from disappointment to fly again and still others who will be the wings to help another fly. This ability to strain and stretch, to recover and adjust is found in the toil of resilience. Strength and depth come from this place. This is where life is lived, on the frontlines of adversity. Let's do this thing together!

These imperfections, both the real and imagined, the ones on the inside and those on the outward, reveal raw need in us. They leave us somehow feeling incomplete, and in doing so, point to a yearning for something more. It is this pull that causes us to challenge expectations and pursue an intrinsic path of purpose. If we allow them to, these very shortcomings can become markers of possibility and opportunities for growth. After being bent, compressed or stretched we are more pliable, open and honest. Our story becomes sinew and bones, it breathes hope and purpose. This is a story I want to read.

Our imperfections are perfect for pushing us in directions perfection would never take us. An imperfect journey is the catalyst for change. After all, without our distinct vulnerabilities we would not embrace a new path, different perspectives or others points of view. Our imperfections should not cause us to stall, but should propel us forward and into our future. It is imperfection, not perfection that gives us the chance to choose individually, and to live differently. The imperfect life is full of promise.

 Life isn't about conforming to absolutes or some unmarred utopian way of existing, but rather is all about the gritty, robust resoluteness that embraces raw, honest living. 

Here's to that kind of living!

The journey of a thousand miles

If there is anything that I have learnt from this heart and soul journey it is that the journey can take longer than expected, is often confronting and always stretches you beyond the borders of your expectations. 

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. 

Four years ago, falling into the world of blogging was that first faltering step. I didn't really know what I was doing then. Driven along by some deep need to liberate the incessant deliberations of my soul, I began to tap out a story that has evolved slowly over time. Writing is good like that, kind to your emerging self. Life pushes on, but writing, writing waits for you, allows you to go back, make changes and if necessary begin again. A fresh page, waiting for you, allowing soul stirrings to be crafted into radiant beams of hope. 

Writing hasn't always been a clear cut process. There are times I have sat in front of the keyboard with stirrings so deep, and no words forthcoming, no words to appropriately clothe the pressings against my soul. In those moments, I would wait. I learnt to be still, to close my eyes to the world and listen to heart whispers from within. Embracing the Selah moment allowed small miracles to occur, wondrous moments of contemplation rose slowly from the vortex of feelings and emotions bubbling inside, releasing itself in a string of beautiful delightful words. And oh how I love words! 

Writing has been a therapeutic process, both healing and purifying. It has been health to my heart and soul. When Life is measured by deadlines, it has been a soft place to fall. It has consented to the fierce scribblings of hope across my existence, permitted the deep etching of purpose upon barren terrain and opened up a whole new world of possibilities. It has carefully carved out a space between now and then, between that which is not yet and that which is to come. Writing has given permission to a faltering voice. Hopeless life fragments have been wound in glorious threads of grace, and into a wholly intentional, holy purposeful plan. 

The unfolding of that plan came slowly. Sometimes there are seasons of waiting, sometimes the seasons are drawn out and it seems that little growth occurs, the faith seed taking longer than anticipated. 

After my first trip to Africa momentum suddenly stalled, direction evaporated and for three and a half long years it all went quiet. I wasn't sure what the next step was or how to take it. There was so much in my heart that I longed to do. I went back to life, to my quiet unassuming mother-teacher life and I thought that was it. I had done my African soiree and had my fill of adventure. In those three and a half years I waited for some sort of epiphany. Direction was not forthcoming.

I waited expectantly and then despondently. I kept writing, gleaning and growing. I sifted my heart and evaluated my soul. I waited for the faith seed to take root. I worked hard at being a loving mother and dedicated teacher. I wondered about the threads of the story, my story, and couldn't see them coming together. I endured the hanging threads and persevered as they continued to dangle tauntingly. 

Then, as abruptly as it stopped, the faith seed sprang to life wrapping those dangling threads securely around the hold on my heart. I cannot really explain what it was that got the ball rolling again, only that it did. They say timing is everything, perhaps they are right! It took just one image to begin the next step, one picture posted on Instagram that made me search out a website. When the right opportunity presented itself there was a quickening that couldn't be stuffed down by the voice of reason. That voice, the faith voice, knows things you can never work out in this lifetime. When you learn to trust it, it takes you places you could never imagine on your own. 

I looked at the image on the screen and googled the website. Hope Global was looking for volunteers, their mission - to restore hope and justice to countries affected by war, genocide and poverty. 2014 would mark twenty years after the Rwandan genocide and they were taking a team in to mark the occasion. I sat there with expectation rising, the application form before me ... and began typing.


My bags are packed, the ticket is perched patiently on my suitcase. 
Today I take the next step in the journey of a thousand miles.

A miracle happened!

Image source

Slices of sunlight streamed in the window, shifting energy flickered off the walls.

Earth dust swirled above me, I drifted in and out of waking.

A new day dawning, possibilities rising.

Conscious of the morning sounds calling, I pulled the blankets a little tighter.

People slowly moving, footsteps echoing, cars whirring, life stirring.

A new day stretched wide, expanding its summit, much to do.

Children calling, phone ringing, emails beeping.

I pull the pillows closer.

Stop thinking.

Pause.

Deep breaths.

I open my eyes and examine the dust.

The twirling particles float aimlessly, drifting on motionless air.

The ticking clock beckons, measuring its intervals rhythmically.

Another day of life, time to grasp reality, cup half empty or cup half full.

I breathe deeply, inhaling heavenly wonder, soul opens wider, heart grows fuller.

Physical senses smack into holy wonder.

This day - this moment - this life, dislodge mortal reasoning for everlasting truth.

I take the cup half full, I rise slowly and reach out, slipping on the miracle of a new day.

Link up

A Confident Hope

A Confident Hope

A confident hope t'is a place of safety and shelter, a sweet sanctity of promise.

A strong tower and fortress, standing formidably on summits of dank turmoil.

The place where soul marrow is nourished and spirit fire glows brightly.

Impervious refuge of bolstered integrity and unpretentious trust,

where bone weary beings find rest in the promise of more.

Amidst the opulence of an interminable tranquility,

it is an anticipation and expectancy that is sure.

Determined and unwavering in its existence.

It spills forth, overflowing and bubbling.

The breath of life in broken ruins.

A wellspring that never dies.

Lifting us up and away.

Rising like the wind,

hope leads us on.

Embrace hope, 

hold hope.

~ hope ~

~ K. Weight ~

... so very thankful for an abiding hope that continually beckons me forward.

More hope here

Life is like an onion

"Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.' - Carl Sandberg.

Now isn't that the truth!

Just when you think that you have skinned and peeled as much as you think is humanely possible - off comes another layer of personal vulnerability.

Sometimes bad things happen!

Then,

over time the pain is peeled away very slowly. 

Bit by bit the flesh is exposed.

 The fumes of disappointment make us cry. 

Sometimes it takes our breath away.

The heart ... our heart is carefully revealed.

And, 

when all this peeling is finished,

that fleshy part is added to a dish.

It is fried up and seasoned.

Finally, 

it is mixed in and combined to the other ingredients.

Delicious and unique flavours begin to emerge. 

The simmering compliments and adds to the aromas.

The taste is sensational ... you are sensational!

Image Source

No matter what has happened to you 

or where you find yourself today,

there is hope ... a hope for your future. 

All your experiences make you who you are. 

Use what you have to bring out your best!

Flavour the world with the delectable you.

'The pain of change is uncomfortable for a short time, but the pain of staying the same lasts a life time.'

Message in the sand

This month was my daughters 17th birthday. To celebrate we took a trip out to Green Island and the Great Barrier Reef. My son wrote a message in the sand ... to his sister!

Sometimes it is easier to say what is in our hearts by scribing it out ...  and allowing those we love, to read the message deep layered within our heart, to take in the full impact of the words ... truly heartfelt words, by seeing them for ourselves. 

Happy Birthday darling girl. xx

Living inspired, always

There are moments in life that keep you captivated forever. Moments that change you in unexpected ways. The memory of that moment swirls across the canvas of your heart, always. 

The setting sun over an African grassland, the mingling of destiny and dreams - Captivating!

What inspires you?  Capture, celebrate and cherish your life. Leave your link in the comment bar.

Square peg ... round hole

Have you ever felt like a square peg in a round hole?

Hhmmm ... yep, me too!

I have a penchant for seeing things differently (You too huh!!) 

 and not following the status quo. I don't mind rules, in fact rules are good - very good!

But, I like to question and think for myself ...  sometimes this isn't always appreciated by others, especially those who like to line their ducks all up in a row (we appreciate precision ... perfectionism is just that much harder to understand) and particularly by those who have a rather set 
(and rigid) way of seeing things. 
(Sorry, we do not do literal so well. To reject the  imagination is to take the wind out of our sails. We can and do however value the steady rhythms of the methodical and matter of  fact. Just give us time to slow down to that pace.)

Unorthodox!! ... maybe, only because we see the bigger picture. Illogical only to those whose thinking is already stuck in the rut! To analyse is to lean in, to perceive is to inhale and to discern is to exhale deeply. Besides, the greatest thinkers of all time, posed questions that challenged norms and redefined perceptions and outlooks. They changed history. 

(I wouldn't mind changing history either!)

Image Source

So, why do some people feel threatened by an individual who has a different opinion or questions how and why things are done ... isn't this good, even necessary? Maybe there really is a better way. There isn't only one way of doing things, REALLY!!

Square pegs like to imagine and think of possibilities ... if you tell us it can't be done, then we  feel more inspired (maybe even challenged) because, there is a solution out there. True, it might need to be discovered. We might need to dig just a little deeper, push a little harder and go a little further. But THAT is the whole point, isn't it?

 Actually, we like taking the other route - you know, the path less travelled! The easy road isn't all that entertaining (or inspiring),

 actually it's a whole lot mind numbing!!

'Square peg thinking is important!'

It means we are open minded, optimistic and willing to bounce ideas back and forth and because we know how important thinking is to forward momentum, we will respect your opinion and value your intellect. We will not confront you to belittle your ideas, instead we will help you explore more complex issues, examine pertinent trains of thought and maybe open up a world of endless possibilities (Perhaps, that is what is so frustrating!!).

We are team players but want to know your convictions and how we can merge our ideas together. We are not conformists but that just means we are creative and can help take things forward in innovative ways, it might even be inspiring. Yes, we are leaders but love to follow a really good lead too. We are happy to follow you, wherever that takes us ... we can forge new territory together (We love to problem solve, work out the nitty gritty - the brain fires up endless neurological pathways. This is our happy  place).

So, all this to just say, that square pegs are actually good, very good. 

So love all the square pegs out there ... and don't make the round holes too difficult for us to fit into. We are quite happy to be wedged in, as long as the fit doesn't break us.

Besides, I don't think we are rally here to fit in, but to stand out!

(Don't you think?) 

Wherever I go

I am at peace in green pastures,

His love abounds there.

Beside still waters,

I see His beauty everywhere.

My soul is refreshed.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow 

after me, wherever I go.