Graduation

This little cherub, graduated uni earlier in the year and moved to Sydney. My heart still hasn't recovered from this little bird flying the coop, but trust that spreading her wings has launched her fair and square into her future! Well done little bird, the world is your oyster!

Video - What I want to be when I grow up!

My darling girl

As I sat somewhere between Rockhampton and Airlie beach in the passenger seat of the car with your brother driving ... and me alone with my thoughts (missing you terribly on this trip and wishing you were with us), I shut my eyes and thought back to a time when you were almost four and he just a few months old. You, with your sing song voice and winning ways could keep him entertained with your sweet little tunes for hours. It only mattered that you were near. His world exisiting because you were in it. You would kneel down next to your baby brother and his arms would suddenly wave wildly in excitement, his chubby little legs kicking in delight just because you were there, beside him. You made him smile, his face lighting up whenever you were close. You have always been the one to make him chuckle that heartfelt sound from the depths of his belly. Your love for a good laugh has always set you apart.

As the hours dragged by I had plenty of time to think on our first road trip without you, and I thought back to a time when you skipped around the house singing your little heart out every day, all day. Oh how I miss those days. I knew then that my prayers had been answered, here was the the voice I had waited a lifetime to have. The voice of an angel sang out from this little girl with the twinkly eyes and the sweetest soul. My heart so full, rested content in the knowledge that I had been blessed with the most beautiful gift. If only the voice of critics were darts that didn't find their mark. If only the words of the wise were the ones that nestled safely into little hearts. Does the world not realise that shaking the burgeoning tree makes it lose its leaves?

You were the cutest firefly at the end of your first year of school, lighting up the whole stage at the end of year dance recital. You twirled along with all the other fireflies but you were the stand out with your shimmering gold wings and serious smile. Grandma and I watched you and I remember my heart bursting with pride. I had never seen a more delightful little dancer. Then when you entered Year Two I couldn't believe how focused you were, so determined and eager for what lay ahead of you. You ended up receiving the 'Diligent and Faithful' award at the end of the school year. But then something happened that shook your belief in yourself, oh how my heart ached when the words of others stung and you began to doubt yourself. How I wished a mothers love could shield her child from the hurtfulness of the world.

Remember the time I made you swim the length of the pool at the school swimming carnival when I found out that the novelty event was for poor swimmers? I knew you could do it, even if you doubted yourself. You looked at me curiously, uncertainty written on your face but got in the pool anyway, trusting me. I felt torn. Should I wrap you up and keep you from pushing yourself to the edge of your ability or do I allow you to think that possibility is within your reach? You made it to the end of the pool. You were upset with me though, you came in last. How could I make you do that! .... but right then as you got out of the pool dripping wet and furious with me, I knew in that moment that you were a fighter! You had just pushed yourself beyond your own borders and even though you didn't know it yet, you would need to know this without a doubt for the difficult years ahead.

And then remember when I bought you new shoes for the school Fun Run because you were sure you could run faster, except the shoes fell off half way into the race! I felt sick, my heart rate increased as you tripped and fell. Tears wedged in the corners of my eyes as I watched you lying there on the track willing you to get up and keep going. I knew how you would be feeling, how anxious you would be in that moment. I wanted to run over straight away and brush you off. I just wanted to pick you up and tell you it didn't matter, except it did matter to you. I stayed where I was cheering you on. You got up. You kept going. Right then I learnt something about you, I realised you wouldn't take anything lying down! Can you see it now, how I see you? You are stronger than you know, braver than you realise, always have been!

A mothers journey has to be the hardest of all, to watch her child falter and fall is a pain all on its own. To stand by and watch as your child finds their own way through the struggle has been harder than expected. How do you hold on to their heart and let go of their hand all at the same time?

There have been ups and downs to be sure. But, you have navigated your journey well. You have been let down and carried pain you were never meant to bear but despite it all you have followed your heart and found your way through it all. There is a tenacity about you that pushes the limits, a raw fierceness at the core of your being. You are both sweet and fierce, vulnerable and determined - a fighter not a quitter! My sweet girl, channel all the beauty of you into worthwhile pursuits, the world needs the bravery etched into the framework of your soul. It needs the broken bits of an aching heart to bring healing to others, allow the intensity of your passion to fuel the fire in those around you. My darling firefly, shine bright in the darkness, there is a light inside of you that draws others into a beauty that is uniquely you. No-one can be who you are suppose to be to the earth right now. Protect that light so it doesn't grow dim, let it shine ever brighter. 

The winds of destiny and the sands of time are opening before you.

My darling girl, you will always have my heart.

Time out and a trip to the Zoo

Love time with this girl. She makes me smile. Each year in March we go away for the weekend to Sydney. Just the two of us for some Mother - Daughter time. We started going in her third year of high school. She was fourteen. That was a hard age! I nearly gave up that year, but I decided to give it another crack ... and here we are four years on. It makes my heart glad that she still likes to bounce ideas around with me and seeks a little wise counsel every now and then (Seventeen years slipped by much too fast). So very glad that I invested time out with her in the teenage years. We may have sowed in tears but the harvest looks pretty good right about now!

Taronga Zoo (Never too old for this stuff!) in Sydney was a highlight of our trip. Mesmerised by the antics of the elephants (especially the babies), I clicked away as they attempted to push and dunk each other under the water - aahh, photographers paradise! They were having the time of their life and so was I. 

Watching these enormous animals play with such abandon was riveting, so cheeky. Can't believe I captured all this on my smart phone! (Can't believe I forgot my camera but not bad for a Samsung Galaxy S3, pretty impressed with its ability! ... what do you think?) 

There is something very majestic about these creatures 

and pretty awesome being up this close and personal!

Such an amazing time (and a very happy Mamma's heart).

Linking up with Casey Leigh for 'On your heart'.

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Believe, Hope, Dream

Believe, hope, dream, dance in the daylight … live in the moment … laugh out loud … eat chocolate … cherish your girlfriends … breathe … sneak small moments of solitude … let no one break your spirit … love with open arms … laugh some more … believe in the amazing woman you are … never ever give up. – Lisa Pollock

These are the words scrawled across a gift that I gave my daughter as part of her graduation gift. The moment I read these words I just knew it was THE gift I had to give. The significance of the words held me fast. Having already weathered some of lifes storms and knowing how the days of life can unravel with sudden momentum and tangle us in unbelieveable knots, I wanted my girl to hold onto some thoughts that could knit together a tightly woven fabric of hope that will keep out the cold when the storms of life are threatening her horizons. I want her to know that there is a way to do life well.

A way to face life,

A way to hold on.

A way to cherish this life,

however it unfolds!

To believe … hope … dream,
ALWAYS!

To dance in the daylight,

to celebrate life.

To laugh out loud,

to cherish the little things.

To let no one break her spirit,

to remain unaffected.

To love with open arms,

to embrace wholeheartedly.

To never ever give up,

to fight for what she believes in!

    …  to celebrate everything that truly makes living this amazing life, beautiful!

As my daughter begins to journey out her own life, (separate from mine, aahh!!), my mothers heart longs for her to do well and to hold fast to what is true … to navigate this life, her life with blessed assurance. I want her believe that anything truly is possible, to hold fast to an unwavering hope (for it really is an anchor for the soul) and to dream big for it is in dreaming that we give permission for the hidden things deep inside to be breathtakingly revealed on the outside.

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The end is in sight!

This week my daughter will complete her final week of school ... and I am so not ready for this!

Needless to say she is excited ... and I wish her all the best.

Love you to the moon and back my beautiful girl.

I am so proud of all that you have achieved ... and who you have become.

Congratulations on being awarded the best film for 2012 - you rock!

Parable of a seed

My daughter is about to graduate Year 12 ... I can't believe the time has gone so fast!

The teenage years have been fun, frustrating (on both parts)

 ... and full of angst, 

as any parent of a teenager would know (and understand!!!)

Training up a child in the way that they should go is not easy ... it requires fortitude way beyond yourself. Fortunately, somehow we found our way through the ups and downs of 

teenage-dom. We have come full circle and what has been sown over the years is now being drawn upon - the harvest is ready - almost! We are nearly there.

Over the years, the seeds scattered ...

(sometimes it seemed like it was all a bit hit and miss - a seed thrown here amongst the ground of independence, a seed flung over there in the soil of rebellion) ... and yes, some of it fell by the wayside. Some seed fell on stony ground (and at times on a hard heart) ... some seed was swallowed up and choked by the weeds of the world - doubt and unbelief grew in the parched and dry places. BUT, some seed nestled down in good ground. It took root in love and grew with hope and purpose.

Now I watch her digging deep within herself and feel my heart swell with pride ... because I know how far she has come. The battles that have been won and the fears that have been overcome. It feels good to watch your own flesh and blood begin to flourish and watch the harvest being reaped. I cannot explain how I really feel ... words do not really express the depth of feeling, suffice to say it truly is AMAZING!

Treasures of the soul

Treasures of the soul - Precious memories

          Memories are treasures of the soul kept safe in the depths of our heart. - k.weight

These photos brings back such sweet memories because my little munchkins are not so little any more. It just feels just like yesterday and if I shut my eyes I can still picture them. Laughter and giggles ... sweet sloppy kisses, grubby little hands and tiny wee bodies that fit snuggly into my lap ... ahhh, how I miss these days.

"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.” 
- Kevin Arnold.

Message in the sand

This month was my daughters 17th birthday. To celebrate we took a trip out to Green Island and the Great Barrier Reef. My son wrote a message in the sand ... to his sister!

Sometimes it is easier to say what is in our hearts by scribing it out ...  and allowing those we love, to read the message deep layered within our heart, to take in the full impact of the words ... truly heartfelt words, by seeing them for ourselves. 

Happy Birthday darling girl. xx

Can

image source

Growing up can't was a dirty word in our household.

I was always pulled up on it and made to change my statement.

My Dad would remonstrate ' There is no such thing as can't!'

I begged to differ!!

As a child this was frustrating. I checked the dictionary

and .... it was in there, a contraction of I CAN NOT!

However

As an adult (and parent myself), 

I am so very grateful that this way of seeing things 

was so firmly entrenched in my thinking.

Because, eventually the message sank in and established a way of living that has forged and fashioned who I am today.

It helped me to overcome great odds, to persevere when the going got tough. 

I learnt to live over, not under
above, not beneath

higher, not lower

grounded and not airy fairy!!

So

I am currently finding myself journeying 

down the same path with my children and turning their cant's into cans.

They are not very impressed!

(I understand their pain.)

But 

 with the benefit of hindsight, I will continue to lead them

(and if necessary push them)

to believe in their dreams and that anything truly is possible!

Just because I can!

The power of forgiveness

Image Source

Recently I had the  privilege of talking with my daughter about the  power of forgiveness. The teenage years are tumultuous and our teens feel things very deeply. They are still learning how to work things through and negotiate how to handle what life throws at them. It is never easy (as we all know).  

Teaching our teens to extend grace and mercy through painful situations, means they in turn receive grace and mercy that actually allows them to live life boundless and free. 

Holding onto hurt only keeps us tight in the grasp of pain. Learning to let go and extend forgiveness means we not only release those who have hurt us, but we release ourselves from the prison of pain that keeps us locked up tight. When we deny unforgiveness its power or hold over our lives it can not establish a stronghold over us!  So thankful to have been handed the key to unlocking resentment or bitterness that attempts to settle in.   (Matthew 6:14)

Honest, open, heartfelt forgiveness is incredibly powerful ~ It has the power to heal.

'Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.' - William Arthur Ward

'Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.' - Suzanne Sommers

Heart and Soul Pursuits

More gratitude here

lessons in an Art assignment

I look over at my daughter completely immersed in her creation and watch her careful putting together of an Art assignment. This sculpture has taken over our weekend, it's due in just a few days. Time is of the essence!

Time pressured - with her it always is, yet some how she always pulls it off, always refining under pressure.

I watch her cut the wire and shape the nothingness into something.

She stretches the chicken wire - snips it here and there, stuffing it full with paper. A head, a body and a leg emerge and all the while I watch. I watch creativity in progress and observe frustration at wire unwilling to bend. I capture delight as it finally takes on shape.

A smile suddenly lights her face.

I pause in this girlish glee and soak up the laughter bubbling forth.

 Enjoying the raw sound of success and its triumphant whoops.

I think about how she envisioned this creation long before she even started. I think about how she saw the potential in this wire and paper ... and despite a few setbacks she forged ahead anyway.

I think about how she put aside the doubts of her peers and their skeptical viewpoints and reached deep inside her imagination anyway.

And I think about how this is the way of faith - the seeing of something not yet formed. The knowing that the unseen and far off 

can one day be tangible and present. This trusting and believing in something not yet seen ... and I realise that this is exactly

how motherhood is.

Motherhood and Faith, both beginning with a hope in the heart 

and emerging as a vision of possibilities ... two peas in a pod,

two sides of a coin.

Motherhood and Faith ... a determined, resolute and courageous spirit that looks doubt, fear and uncertainty in the face and fiercely holds on.

This is the kind of faith I want, the kind of mother I want to be.

Quietly confident despite the odds - holding on fiercely and never letting go of the hope, the dream and the promise of tomorrow.

'HaPpY mOtHeRs DaY'

Linking up  with Ann Voskamp and Jen Ferguson.

Learning to listen

With the start of the school year we have reinstated routine once again. It is amazing how quickly the family lapses into lax rules and attitudes when just a few rules shift sideways! So once again we are back to eating sensibly around the dinner table (and not the t.v)  ... yes, during the holidays we camped out in the lounge room and ate dinner with our meals perched carefully across our laps. Let me tell you trying to get back to the dinner table was a bit of a chore at the beginning of the week! 


But I hit the jackpot last night with the best dinner conversation I have had in weeks. We sat there for an hour chatting! Yes, you heard right ... chatting with my teenagers for more than a few minutes ... and I loved every minute of it as I heard what is going on in their world. I must admit I said a whole lot less than I usually do. I listened with open ears and an open heart. I am learning to listen more these days and say so much less. My days of parental hovering are indeed numbered. Letting go is never easy. Not that I am letting go in the full sense of the word because there is still so much to do (and say) ... but, there is a definite shift occurring as my kids embark on their own journeys and begin to find their own way in the world. So, I held my words of wisdom, insightful admonitions, clever advice and the other motherly thoughts to myself and did not give them voice last night. Instead I listened ... I listened to the emerging voices of hope, distant dreams and future longings. Hopes to go to university, to explore their faith, to find a profession, leave home (tears!!), get married (sigh) and have kids (aaahhh!!). But, in all honesty, I was proud to hear how grown up my children sounded (and maybe a little in awe of how amazing they really are, despite the ups and downs of everyday life and a few rule violations!!).

I am learning it is less about what I need to say or what I think they need to hear and sometimes, more about what I don't say!

Unexpected

On Fridays around these parts we stop, drop, and write.

For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

Won’t you join us?

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Most importantly: leave a comment for the person who linked up before you – encouraging them in their writing!

This weeks word is - 'Unexpected'.

Life can be unexpected 

with all the twists and turns. 

Parenting is this way, really really unexpected. 

I wasn't quite prepared for the way my heart enlarged 

when I brought my baby home from hospital.

Or the way my heart ached when their heart ached. 

The awe of being a mother was previously unimaginable,

hard to comprehend

and NOW hard to imagine any other way. 

The teenage years are so very unexpected. 

BUT it's not like you think. 

Things happen, wheels spin, the world turns on its axis 

and everything changes, 

in ways that you never dreamed of. 

It's all a bit of a surprise ... 

the gaining of independence, the pulling away, 

the learning to drive, of getting a job, 

of securing their own future.

It's all kind of bitter sweet.  

Unexpected joy, unexpected loss!

A mother's love

A mothers love is gracious, kind, overflowing and limitless.

It knows no bounds, even amidst the angst and trial of everyday schedules, boundary setting and life's highs and lows it looks for the good in those impish grins and mischievous souls.

We find untapped potential in the barest of landscapes.

We can see the end before it has even begun.

Suddenly the horizon is clearer than once thought possible.

The stars not so hard to reach for

and dreams within our grasp.

We pick up those small bundles when they stumble and fall.

Their pain is our pain, we feel it to the core.

It is carried like a badge across our hearts.

We who offer an uncompromising love like a high flying kite,

are the bridge of hope across a gorge of doubt 

and endless insecurities.

We long to see our children reach their full potential 

and see the best in them, even when others don't.

We nurture fledgling self esteems ... 

we cultivate, encourage and protect always.

Every day we begin anew 
and pull out new reserves, new strength and new grace.

We can't help it ... we didn't know its pull before, 
before the days of a babe in arms. 
But we know it now,

this great big life force pulsing through our veins.

This wondrous and sacred thing!

Life like we once knew it has ceased to exist. 

Our hearts melt in ways never before conceived.

We have been changed forever ...

in unimaginable ways.

It is who we are now 

and what we will always be!

Happy Birthday .. my darling girl

* capturing an opportunity * celebrating the beauty of life  * cherishing the everyday. 

***

Sweet Sixteen ...

So proud of who you are

my lovely.

... a few favourite moments this week.

Love you honey bun - sugar plum .... hip hip hooray!!

Breakfast out ..... a chilly morning except for the warmth of good food and great company.

Movies and dinner too .....amazing bbq spare ribs!!

Fun with family and friends.... celebrating sixteen wonderful years.

A fun day .... laughter, delight and spontaneity... Happy happy birthday Sunshine!!

A Hair Dare

My Daughter has finally found a use for her thick and unruly hair! I can still hear her little girl complaints about her ridiculous knots (that we had to cut out, often), and the annoying thickness that weighed heavy on her head. It was totally unmanageable for her and she hated brushing it. I told her, 'One day you will appreciate your lovely long hair'. That day finally arrived .... fifteen and a half years later!

She was delighted to be asked to be a hair model. Imagine that!

So these are a few of my favourite pics ... with Photofunia!

and this is her with a few of her friends.

Okay, so she isn't really on the cover of vogue or on billboards.

Photofunia is my new favourite tool.

You have to try it!

She has been hair modelling though and dared to go fire engine red. We spent hours in the salon. She put up with a whole lot of teasing and tousling for a flaming head of hair and I put up with hearing all of her her yelps in the process! (A free hair cut, colour and style in a fancy salon...you gotta love that!)

Getting prepped for the hair show.

They had a fantasy hair theme .... and yes that is really all of her hair!!

I have a new appreciation for hair artistry. They are so creative!

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