Return to Uganda

Finding myself at the end of a much awaited project, 

with the anticipated outcome unexpectedly paused.

I found myself fortuitously heading back to Uganda, 

this time to meet sweet little Ruth.

Because, a chance not taken is an opportunity missed. 

When one door closes, another door opens. 

Just keep moving forward!

The school in Mityana, Uganda

In Trishelle's office

I spent my days preparing lessons, creating school flyers, running a teacher training session and 

being constantly in awe of all that is being achieved here. From little things, big things grow!

Precious Ruth (HIC sponsor child) and her Mama (HIC Prep teacher)

Sponsorship is a privilege - an opportunity to partner with organisations impacting lives for eternity.

On excursion with these little darlings

Ruth waiting to greet me in the morning

Daddio ... glad to have him along for the journey.

The long walk home

Live audaciously!

Life is about accepting challenge and stepping out of comfort zones.

Life isn’t so much about calculating the risk, but accepting the risk and doing it anyway.

Life should not be lived within the safety of comfort zones or neutral states of behaving. This mental conditioning causes restrictive boundaries and indifferent perspectives, where we are neither thinkers or creators. If we are not prepared to take a risk or make a mistake, we compromise the ability to think divergently and act creatively!

Take the butterfly for instance, its struggle is necessary to its survival. Help it escape its cocoon and the butterfly will live out its days deformed, unable to experience the exhilaration of flying free. It is in the struggle that the butterfly finds its strength.  After its dark days inside the cocoon, the butterfly has this one moment to accept its destiny, this one final moment to live beyond its restrictions. To fail to push through in this pivotal moment will impact the butterfly forever. It will live out its existence crawling in a world where it was destined for something greater. It must gather its energy and exert itself completely and wholeheartedly at the crucial moment. The butterfly must squeeze its frail body out of its tiny confined space. It will emerge withered and worn, but then it begins to extend and expand its full capacity … the butterfly will spread its wings and fly.

We shouldn’t be frightened of thinking differently or making mistakes … or afraid of picking ourselves up once again after loss and adversity. It is in these exact places that our biggest battles are won. Comfort zones need to be pushed, boundaries overstepped and our thinking stretched beyond its capacity. True ingenuity is discovered in strenuous effort and enterprise.

So go right ahead and think expansively, dream magnanimously and live audaciously.

The gift of life requires us to live devotedly and passionately in the realm of remarkable resolve.

Wholly intentional, holy purposeful!

The bearer of a faith seed begins a journey that seems too impossible! 

It is hard to live by faith and not by sight! Our senses define our humanness, we learn everything through these experiences, are nothing without them. Then faith tells us to lay aside all that we know to be humanly possible. It requires us to embrace the invisible and intangible, a realm outside of our earthly parameters and understanding. 

And then faith demands that we leap.

It seems impossible, seems beyond us, seems unattainable! Faith requires us to step into unknowns, after all - nothing ventured, nothing gained. An open ear and closed eyes keep me present, aware and alert. It is easier to hear the voice of wisdom when we are still, closed eyes stop distractions. Closing our eyes lowers the lid on what seems impossible. We close the window of our temporal world and stop seeing impossibilities. Instead we are transported across time and space, we begin to see possibilities. We imagine, dream and see differently. We begin to see what has been imprinted in us from the dawn of time. We see ourselves as we have been created, as heaven breathed, wholly intentional, holy purposeful beings. 

When we have seen ourselves stretch across that yawning chasm of unbelief and fully know that we can breach the walls of doubt, we cross the divide with the substance and evidence of things hoped for. We look back and wonder why on earth we ever let those fireballs of fear stand in our way.

In retrospect, I have tried to negotiate this tug on my heart and soul with intellectual reasoning and foresight when in reality I know that is futile. Futile because the intellect and the heart operate on different plains, they do not see eye to eye and that is the conundrum. How do you live with that duplicity inside of you, the head saying one thing and the heart another? 

Futile because divine purpose has nothing to do with our physical and limited realities. The natural and supernatural operate on different levels, are poles apart. Yet, when meshed with an open heart and a yielded life, blend seamlessly. A heaven seed full of omniscient purpose, when planted in frail humanity takes root in supernatural soul soil beyond all earthly comprehension. When this tiny seed of faith finds its open vessel, It begins tugging the heart in another direction. The heart must hear and the mind MUST align for faith to grow. The faith seed now begins its journey.

I know that ... faith is activated through hearing, but have learnt that, it is only useful when applied through a surrendered heart and a willing life. It is the journey I am still on, the journey of a thousand miles!

Come back tomorrow for 'The journey of a thousand miles'

When life is measured by deadlines

There are days, pressing days, when life is measured by deadlines, shopping lists and bills to pay; that completely and utterly suffocate aspiring dreams. There are days of monotonous normality that hang like ominous storm clouds – black, hot and threatening!

Responsibility weighs heavy. 

I long to more fully embrace each day, to pursue purpose and throw off those earthly restraints that keep me tethered to mainstream mediocrity. Yet, it is in this day to day, this quiet measuring of life, that hope rises. Purpose expands, dreams still grow. 

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?, these words stop me in my tracks. I try these words on. What would I attempt to do if I knew I could not fail? … the question sobers me. Answers do not come rushing in. 

More questions hang in the air. 

Do I have big enough dreams? Have I stretched myself as far as I can? … Is there something more? The niggling in my soul nudges me daily. It presses hard on the inside of my ribcage, persistent in its chase. Where would it take me if I let it roam free? My eyes are front and centre as I look forward to a new year. Time to step out, time to try on brave. Time to still the voice of reason. 

These words, – Destined – Devoted – Daring, these holy emblazoned and profoundly significant words, I dare to understand. I grapple with them daily, fall short and fall flat. Dare I believe that a single, ordinary, unexceptional life ... a life completely falling short of the grace and sanctity of a matrimonial alliance, still be assigned for a heaven breathed specific purpose? Can I, a single parent commit to the steadfast unrelenting pursuit that might be required? … Do I even have what it takes? These words are the ones I hold onto, a life raft keeping me afloat.

Can I do this?

I already battle with how to live brave, and how to walk courageously undaunted! I am not a thrill seeker, I do not live dangerously. I play it safe and play by the rules. I like order and have everything planned down to the very last detail! I am black and white through and through. Temerity is scarce and intrepidity out of reach. Yet, despite obvious inabilities, glaring lack and persistently clear weaknesses, I find myself whispering these words to my frantic heart. 

I whisper them quietly, just loud enough so my heart can hear them, soft enough so my soul will believe them. For I wish dearly to inscribe these words - Destined, devoted, daring - fiercely across my existence. To scribble them back and forth and etch them deep, really deep. To carve a space between what is not yet and that which is anticipated. And now, it is these words that I carefully wave like a white flag to my hopes and dreams, time to surrender, time for a truce. Time to step out, time to be brave.

Heart and Soul Pursuits

One Word

Compassion has challenged bloggers to choose one word to embody 2014, one word that embodies the promise of the upcoming year. One word in concrete form, one word full of possibilities, one word to substantiate a life and then blog about it.

I think about that one word and this boy, our boy in Rwanda. I think back to when we picked his little face out from the sea of faces before us.

Happy.

There's a word. We were happy to embrace this boy into our life. Me, a newly single mother, full of hope for a better future too. I was happy to make a small difference. I didn't see the difficult years stretching ahead of us, didn't expect them to overshadow that happiness. I think about how sometimes it was a struggle, how working part time and scratching out an existence was harder than I expected with two young children by my side. I think about the late payments made.

Sorry.

There's another word. I'm sorry for that. I made it though, kept those payments going. Glad too that I did. Things are different now, easier. I think about this Christmas and wish I could see your face. I know you will be laughing. I can just imagine it. There's a present on its way, just for you Eric. I'm hopeful Eric. Real hopeful, that one day I will visit you, hold you in the flesh and see you face to face. Have hope Eric.

Hope.

 * ~//~ *

I keep thinking about that one word that will frame my world, there are so many words that I could hold up as a banner over all that I am hoping and believing for in 2014. Words like, Faith - Courage - Breadth - Depth and Purpose to name just a few. Words that boldly declare my hopes and dreams, words that shout loudly from the mountain top of a restless soul, and words whispered quietly through cracks of fear.

I need this:

Faith - to hold close to my convictions with unshakeable confidence, because sometimes the years seem to merge so quickly that they are swallowed up in the daily ritual of treading water, afloat - somewhere, but not really going anywhere. 

It's hard to see perspective when vision is distant, when dreams feel remote!

I must embrace this:

Courage - to face difficulty, to keep rising up when fear would keep me contained, because if I think about all the things that stand in the way I wouldn't go any further. 

The glass ceiling of motherhood on your own is imposing, invisible forces frustrating!

I long for this: 

Breadth - to live free from narrowness or restraint, to reach out with greater capacity, because I want to embrace the wide open spaces of this life, make every breath count. Dream impossible dreams and hinge them closely to my heart, hang them around my soul.

Suffocating in a world where negativity is breathed like oxygen, overwhelming!

Have to grasp this:

Depth - to go beyond one's capability, to surpass previous understandings, push past cold hard facts. To disentangle the opposing dogma of a risen truth verses a fallen reality. 

Not easy when the head and the heart conflict, when what seems logical makes no sense at all. When living safe means a dream might wither, pointless then!

Must do this:

Purpose - to resolve to do something, to intentionally determine a goal (a mission, an objective ... a line drawn in the sand) with resoluteness, then freely emancipate this life to that calling.

Harder than imagined!

When I think about all of these things, THERE IS one word, one word that gives tangible expression to all of this - expand! I let it rest there, hovering above me, pushing back shadows, dusting off dreams - again! I breathe deeper, breathe more fully. I like this word. A lot!

Expand. 

~ to increase or grow in extent, to distend beyond the point of natural expansion.

~ to stretch out and unfold, to spread out in every direction.

~ to express something more fully or in greater detail, to express oneself more fully.

Substantiate life with unfurling!

The truth is, I need to unfurl my life ... let it unravel a little, walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. I'm hoping for all this!

Image Source

At the end of my life!

'Inspire me'

So excited to be launching 'Inspire me' ... learning to live inspired. 'Inspire me' is an invitation to gather with girls across the earth living their lives destined, devoted and daring. This is me learning to live inspired by the every day. It is about celebrating the ordinary and extraordinary moments along the way. How are you doing life?....What words of wisdom can you offer a girl in your world? Inspire us with your life.

We will blog it, create it, photograph it, montage it, sketch it, paint it, make it, bake it..... heart it.

* Destined - Being purposeful, certain and intentional. Share with us the sacred, divine and significant moments of your life - that part of your life set apart for a particular purpose and intent.....those unavoidable and inescapable truths of eternity. What are your revelations or your 'ah ha' moments?

* Devoted - Being dedicated, ardent and steadfast. Tell us what you devote your life to ...Is it motherhood, a passion or a particular interest? What did you dedicate your self to? How do you hope to work towards this? What are your struggles? How are you outworking this day to day? Tell us your hopes for the future....the longings in your heart...the ordinary and the everyday...the big things, the little things, the mundane and even the craziness of your amazing and devoted life.

* Daring - Being audacious, fearless and brave. We want to hear how you are courageous, impulsive, reckless or bold. What fearless and brave adventure did you embark upon. Share with us the journey you hope to commence? Did you face a fear, challenge a mind set, lift the lid on self imposed restrictions or even jump out of an aeroplane? 

   

"Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching and live like its heaven on earth." - Mark Twain.

We have a great line up of girls contributing to the 'Inspire me' series so come back all week to be inspired for the journey ahead.

Link to the 'Inspire Me' series.