... Living inspired by the beauty of life, one post at a time.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Parenting your child's self esteem?

Gorgeous Kylie and her bub - so cute

The way we build self esteem in our child needs to be significant enough to arrest their attention and powerful enough to deposit value and worth into the very core of who they are. This is how your child's self esteem and self concept will develop and grow. When your child knows that they are deeply loved they will confidently embrace life and all its challenges knowing that they have what it takes.... because you believe in them. This is a child with hope. No one can instil self esteem into a child better than a loving parent - loving unconditionally.  A top priority so that your child grows into an emotionally happy and healthy adult. As a loving parent you can build your child's self esteem so that they reach their full potential. Unrealized potential is a heartbreaking reality as many individuals fail to realize their value and worth as young children. Children love to hear how big and strong they are. Teenagers love knowing that you think they have what it takes. Belief in your child's strengths, talents and abilities is a very powerful thing.

One particular key that I have learnt in my own parenting journey is that regardless of the age of your child - whether  a toddler or in the teen years, all children need validation to do grow big on the inside. The best way to do this is through a face to face encounter with eye contact. There are times I have been guilty of the aha and mmhhmmm responses which I have learnt does not make a child feel significant. It does not  suffice for a meaningful interaction. I have found that even a brief eye to eye moment makes a child feel valued and important. This lets your child know that they have been heard, developing a strong sense of self. At times my mind has been so preoccupied with the details of life that I have had to let my kids know that I am too distracted to talk right now and wouldn't be giving them my best. They understand that I may need time to sort my thoughts out before I can engage purposefully. They learn to give and take. (another valuable life lesson). I take a moment to do this so I can listen intently and whole heartedly, sometimes briefly and other times at length. I then fully engage in listening and depositing words that build up. Sometimes speaking many words and sometimes just a few. Either way by having engaged with them in such a significant manner they are growing on the inside heart, soul and mind. 

6 'heart 2 hearts'…heartfelt comments here.:

Anonymous said...

Love this! So good. I am guilty of doing the half listening thing with my kids. That's why I have just started Mummy/son dates so I can have one on one time with them individually. As a homeschooling mum, I find myself spending quanity time with my kids, but not quality time. xo

Heart n Soul said...

Hey Jo, love the idea of Mummy son dates - so good to connect one on one in our busy lives. Maccas is a favourite hang out for my son and me. xx

Michelle said...

love this post Kay, so important to continually build up our children. xx

Nichole said...

Great post! Parents make all the difference in the world. I constantly encourage the kids verbally, but also dropping them notes from time to time.
I like to stay busy so I really work hard to remind myself to slow down and enjoy my family.
My daughter has told me my that I spend too much time on my phone. Not talking on it, but I get my texts and emails on my phone. I was so glad she told me that, because now I'll leave the phone down while we are spending time. Little reminders are always great. :)

Warren Baldwin said...

Linked here from another site where I saw the title of your blog and was intrigued. Good title, and very good blog.

This was a great post. If children don't get that love and validation when they are little, they are in a hungry search for it the rest of their lives.

One thing Cheryl and I have learned from our three is that even as teenagers they want that continued validation. If they think they made a good play in a sport, they look to us for a smile. If they think they made a bad play, they look to us for a nod of, "That's ok." Over time their sense of identity kicks in, and they are now in a position to offer this kind of validation to someone else.

We've also learned that teaching them right from wrong is important for their self-esteem. Self-esteem isn't about feeling good (even when you have done something bad); it is about knowing you are trying to live right.

I just put a post up on Family Fountain on Quality Time you might like.

I enjoyed the visit. YOu have a great blog.

Heart n Soul said...

Thanks Warren for your kind thoughts and comments. So appreciated.

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Thanks for sharing, kind words are sunshine to the soul!

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