Learning to listen

With the start of the school year we have reinstated routine once again. It is amazing how quickly the family lapses into lax rules and attitudes when just a few rules shift sideways! So once again we are back to eating sensibly around the dinner table (and not the t.v)  ... yes, during the holidays we camped out in the lounge room and ate dinner with our meals perched carefully across our laps. Let me tell you trying to get back to the dinner table was a bit of a chore at the beginning of the week! 


But I hit the jackpot last night with the best dinner conversation I have had in weeks. We sat there for an hour chatting! Yes, you heard right ... chatting with my teenagers for more than a few minutes ... and I loved every minute of it as I heard what is going on in their world. I must admit I said a whole lot less than I usually do. I listened with open ears and an open heart. I am learning to listen more these days and say so much less. My days of parental hovering are indeed numbered. Letting go is never easy. Not that I am letting go in the full sense of the word because there is still so much to do (and say) ... but, there is a definite shift occurring as my kids embark on their own journeys and begin to find their own way in the world. So, I held my words of wisdom, insightful admonitions, clever advice and the other motherly thoughts to myself and did not give them voice last night. Instead I listened ... I listened to the emerging voices of hope, distant dreams and future longings. Hopes to go to university, to explore their faith, to find a profession, leave home (tears!!), get married (sigh) and have kids (aaahhh!!). But, in all honesty, I was proud to hear how grown up my children sounded (and maybe a little in awe of how amazing they really are, despite the ups and downs of everyday life and a few rule violations!!).

I am learning it is less about what I need to say or what I think they need to hear and sometimes, more about what I don't say!