Motherhood is a churning joyous ache! As a mother there always seems to be an ache inside your soul ... a bittersweet mingling of pleasure and pain. It is an almost tangible presence. The ache is hard to ignore.
This aching of our Mother's heart can rear it's head at the most inopportune of times (like crying at a heart wrenching t.v add or a baby photo that slips out from a book). It is sometimes a whisper of years gone by and at other times it is screamingly loud ... almost like a steam train hurtling down the tracks, reminding us of a deep loss or a hidden grief. It can take us by surprise and leave us open mouthed!! That first scrape our baby feels can seem overwhelming with the depth of the ache we feel ... it can shake us to the core.
We wash away the tears from our child's face and feel the pain deeply, our heart twists in ways never expected. The passing of every new milestone leaves an aching trail across our soul as we all at once let go and embrace ... the aching for what once was, while embracing the next moment and the next milestone. We can cry and smile all at the same time. We are unique at this artful skill!
More often than not the ache becomes a joyous celebration. We know deep within us that this is what it means to be a Mother and somehow you get used to living with that ache deep inside because that is what Motherhood is all about ... this delicate dance and merging of both the ache and the joy.
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